Let’s get real for a moment. How many times have you found yourself saying yes when your heart was screaming no, all because you wanted to avoid disappointing someone or craved their approval? Or spent hours overthinking if someone was mad at you because you didn’t meet their expectations? If any of this sounds familiar, you might be stuck in the exhausting cycle of craving approval.

Here’s the truth: seeking approval is like chasing a moving target. It’s emotionally draining, spiritually distracting, and can leave you feeling unfulfilled no matter how much validation you get. But you don’t have to live this way. Today, let’s dive into why you crave approval, how it’s hurting you, and most importantly, how God’s love can transform your heart and set you free through reflection and journaling.

Why Do We Crave Approval?

Craving approval usually comes from a deep desire to feel valued, loved, or worthy. This need can be rooted in past experiences like rejection, criticism, or feeling invisible. If you’ve ever thought, “If I just make them happy, then I’ll be enough,” you’re not alone. The world has conditioned many of us to believe that our worth is tied to how much we can please others.

But here’s the catch: trying to earn approval through people-pleasing is like building a house on sand. It shifts, crumbles, and never truly supports you. Jesus warned us about this in

Matthew 7:26-27 when He said:

Everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

When your identity is built on the shifting sands of others’ opinions, you’re setting yourself up for constant anxiety and disappointment. God, on the other hand, offers a foundation that is steady, unchanging, and rooted in His perfect love.

How Approval-Seeking Hurts You

While seeking approval might feel like the right thing to do, it often causes more harm than good. Here are a few ways it might be hurting you:

1. It Distracts You from God’s Purpose

Proverbs 29:25 says:

“Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe.”
When you prioritize others’ approval over God’s will, you’re caught in a snare—trapped by their expectations. This can pull you away from God’s unique purpose for your life.

2. It Leads to Burnout

Saying yes to everyone means saying no to rest, self-care, and even time with God. Jesus modeled healthy boundaries by stepping away to pray and recharge, even when people wanted more from Him (Luke 5:16). If Jesus needed time to prioritize His relationship with the Father, so do you.

3. It Damages Your Relationships

People-pleasing often creates resentment. You may end up feeling bitter toward those you’re trying to please because their needs always seem to come first. Ironically, this can strain relationships rather than strengthen them.

4. It Undermines Your Identity in Christ

When you’re constantly seeking validation, you’re essentially saying, “What others think of me matters more than what God thinks of me.” This mindset can erode your confidence and make you forget that you are already enough in God’s eyes.

Fighting the Need for Approval

Practical Steps to Overcome People-Pleasing Through Faith

Breaking free from approval addiction isn’t easy, but it is possible. Here are some practical steps to help you reclaim your life and refocus on God’s love:

1. Anchor Your Identity in God’s Love

Remind yourself daily that your worth comes from being a child of God, not from meeting others’ expectations.

John 15:9 says:

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.”

Take a moment to reflect on this truth. God’s love is unconditional, eternal, and unchanging. Let that sink in and guide your decisions.

2. Learn to Say No Gracefully

Saying no doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you wise.

Proverbs 4:23 advises:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Guarding your heart means protecting your time, energy, and focus. Practice saying no with kindness but firmness.

For example:

“Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m not able to commit to that right now.”

“I appreciate the opportunity, but I need to prioritize other responsibilities.”

3. Pause and Pray Before Responding

When you feel pressure to say yes, pause. Take a deep breath and pray. Ask God for wisdom to discern whether the request aligns with His will for you.

James 1:5 promises:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

4. Set Boundaries That Honor God

Boundaries aren’t about pushing people away; they’re about stewarding your life in a way that glorifies God. Reflect on where you need boundaries in your relationships, work, or commitments. Write them down and pray over them.

5. Use Journaling to Process Your Feelings

Journaling is a powerful way to explore your thoughts and connect with God. Here are a few prompts to get you started:

What situations trigger my need for approval? Why?

How can I remind myself that God’s approval is all I need?

What boundaries do I need to set to protect my peace?

Journaling not only helps you identify patterns but also gives you a space to pour out your heart to God and invite Him into your struggles.

6. Reflect on Jesus’ Example

Jesus didn’t live to please people. He lived to please the Father.

In John 8:29, He said:

“The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.”

When faced with criticism or pressure, Jesus stayed focused on His mission. Let His example inspire you to do the same.

Exploring God’s Love to Heal the Need for Approval

One of the most powerful ways to overcome approval-seeking is by resting in God’s love. Here’s how you can explore His love more deeply:

1. Meditate on Scripture

Spend time soaking in verses about God’s love and your identity in Christ. Here are a few to start with:

Romans 8:38-39: “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Psalm 139:14: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that fully well.”

2. Pray for a Heart Transformation

Ask God to help you release the need for approval and replace it with a hunger for His presence. A simple prayer might look like this:

Father, I’ve been chasing the approval of others for too long. Help me to rest in Your love and trust that I am enough because You say I am. Teach me to seek Your will above all else. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

3. Surround Yourself with Encouraging Community

Find people who will point you back to God’s truth when you feel tempted to seek validation elsewhere. Whether it’s a church group, trusted friends, or a mentor, community can be a powerful reminder of God’s love.

The Freedom of Pleasing God Alone

Imagine waking up each day free from the pressure to make everyone happy. Instead, your focus is on living for an audience of One.

Recommendations for overcoming people-pleasing and seeking God's approval:

The Approval Fix: How to Break Free from People Pleasing

The People Pleaser's Guide to Loving Others without Losing Yourself

Pleasing People: How Not to Be an Approval Junkie

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